The struggle is real. I’ve been battling a worthy opponent for so long that it is with cautious applause that I celebrate this victory.
See, for years I’ve openly embraced my gifts one moment and in the next I’ve pushed them under the bed; bits of beautiful wrapping paper clinging to the sides as a reminder of how delicately they were packaged and the love and care that went into giving those packages to me.
I’ve cried and wondered why I’d been asked to bear this. I’ve sunk to my knees telling God that I would do as I’d been asked. But before long my desire to just be normal and fit in would win.
As I round the last curve marking just 3 months to another year of life, I realize I have to choose me – all of me. The easy parts and the hard parts. This year has been all about challenging myself, stepping out of my comfort zones and cracking my crown. I can look back at how what I learned to help and inspire others and in writing a book I may one day publish, it was as much for me. I was faced with my own story, my own lessons, and owning my own truth.
With each chapter, question I posed to the reader, and essay I shifted. At the time it was subtle, myself having little aha moments as I wrote. I stopped and started, took things out and put things back in. I wasn’t sure I wanted it to be so out there. Yes, in my writing a book about overcoming fear and using mindset principles I had to practice what I was teaching and overcome the fear of judgment myself.
It hasn’t been easy but for every step back I’ve taken two forward and that means progress.
While most of what I’ve done has been fun and I could easily pull it out of my box of experiences and dust them off, enjoying both the learning and growth, not all of it has.
Spirit speaks to me. Spirits speak to me. Did you catch that subtle difference? It’s the one that sends me over the line – a line I’ve never wanted to be on the other side of, but found myself there anyway.
I’ve been aware and open to my gifts in their present form for more than ten years. I’m unusual in that my gifts are completely God-given. I was made this way and when I turn it on I help people in their personal and professional lives. I help people heal their pasts and understand where they are going. I help people see the possibilities and their role in bringing those possibilities into reality.
I can touch the heart and the head as a clairvoyant, clairaudient, clairsentient, channel, medium, pet communicator, and natural shaman. I didn’t ask for any of it but I am expected to use it. You don’t toss gifts like this under the bed and into the darkness.
How I use it may be different, however. I am a messenger, sharing insight, wisdom, guidance, inspiration and hope. I’m also a coach and a creative artist and using that connection for myself as well as helping others find their purpose and then make moves to success is the truth.
This space where clients come to me for spiritual insight and intuitive guidance mixed with my creativity and business sense becomes filled with meaning when that insight saves a business (yes that’s happened). It becomes a calling when it helps someone break through mental blocks so they can pursue their dreams or let go of baggage that is holding them back in their personal and professional life.
That’s what matters. That’s why I won’t let fear stop me. It’s because if it stops me then the people, the writers, the entrepreneurs, the creatives, and the dreamers I’m supposed to help are stopped too. Not on my watch. I can’t have that.
I was made to be one bad mama jama. I accept that. I was given absolutely everything I need to rock this life but I’ve been hiding my most precious asset. That ‘thang’ that makes me special. No more. This is me.
This queen is going to rule her queendom by owning every part of her magnificent self. That’s right. Inside of me I carry all those gifts of God because I’m God made and in that power I am strong and confident.
Come closer. I want to whisper something sweet into your ear. Between you and me we can create a world that is filled with wonder. We can make some miracles happen. But first we have to be open to what’s possible and want it for ourselves. I’ve done that for myself. I can’t do that part for you. I can do a whole lot of other things to help but working wonders in your life has to start with you.
Pardon me while I admire these presents. You should admire whatever gifts you’re carrying around or hiding too.
Now what can the God in me do for the God in you?
